BE MY BOO?

A definitive guide to all the ghouls and ghosts that go bump in the night.

We live amongst monsters. Not everyone knows this. The supernatural, the occult, rituals in shrouded darkness--Halloween is a hand in the void. It reveals, it shifts around the shadows, and in it, you find vampires and werewolves and ghosts. The masks they typically don are gone. Everyone else is also pretending. 

So if your phone dings with a text past 10PM, it’s important to know the difference between these creatures of the night and an actual prospect. Don’t be fooled by ghoulish good looks. Arm yourself with this guide to all things sexy and scary for an evening of treats rather than tricks. 

Ghosts: The most well known of the supernatural forays. When the person you’re seeing abruptly stops communicating with you. Dust off the Ouija board--you’re dealing with a dead relationship. Haunting hour is upon us.

Vampires: Their skin must bubble and swelter in the sun. Why else would they only want to see you at twilight, only kiss you at dusk? These people also have a hankering for neck bites and bruises, sucking and draining you dry of all your emotions. 

Werewolves: The most elusive. An intense night of passion and primal lust, someone who seems sweet but transforms into a beast in the bedroom. Their visits are fleeting--someone you see merely once every full moon. 

Zombies: Otherwise known as your toxic ex; someone long buried clawing their way from the ground, a dead relationship resurrected. Infected with the past, scarred with history. Time heals all wounds except theirs. Identifiable by their constant, pestering texts, the kind that rot your brain. 

Bigfoot: The friendly giant. A simple gait and clumsy build, but kind eyes and sweet smile. Someone who’s fumbling their way through a relationship. There’s a gentleness to their destruction. They take down the forest, break down the barriers to you. Beware: these creatures are the most prone to false sightings. (Plus you know what they say about big feet…)

Mermaids: The voice you hear when you fall asleep. The marriage of temptation and desire, sheathed in mystery. Someone who is a lure. Their existence is a bewitching mirage of seduction and charm. Every text is a beckon and you know it’s wrong to go, but each time you do. They’re impossible to pin down. Every time you try to get close, they disappear into depths you can’t cross. Swallowed by imprenable waves and distance. Follow and you drown.

Witches: Femme-fatale personified. Typically female, typically better than you. Their reputation precedes them, but that’s because history is told by the accusers instead of the accused. Someone who exists to burn the patriarchy at the stake. A threat to no one except the men who get in their way. Tinder boys beware.

AUTHOR: Rose Diaz is in her third year at Brown and is constantly wondering why it rains so much in Providence. She’s studying literary arts and enjoys spending way too much time pursuing random bookstores in her small, completely unheard-of hometown of NYC.

ARTIST: Shelby Kostal